hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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