Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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