I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
this will be a night to untag.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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