Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
