VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
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