p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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