I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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