i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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