This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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