loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Drunk is a universal language darling
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