As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
