Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
How drunk are you?
Completed.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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