Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
