you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Randomize
