what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
