Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Randomize
