What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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