Whoa Z and x make the same sound
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Randomize
