I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
