How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
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