there's paper in my vomit.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Randomize
