"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
We have started to decorate penises.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
