um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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