Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
That accounts for only three of the penises
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Randomize
