Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
