Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
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