the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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