he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
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