ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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