I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Randomize
