I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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