oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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