Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
she looked like the before picture.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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