thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
