Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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