Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
