We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Randomize
