Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
