I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
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