so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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