Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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