im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
