So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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