Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
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