would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
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