I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
