My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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