i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
