he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
