i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
