Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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