it hurts more in the daytime
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
