Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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