I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
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